The topic dedicated to the role of father in child development is absolutely urgent nowadays. Many women fall to thinking about how to engage their husbands in parenting and care about their children.
Birth of a child is a wonderful and happy event in a family’s life. After the last weeks of pregnancy and mother’s poor health and fatigue, the baby, who was being waited for and loved so much beforehand, finally appears next to his parents. And a modern man does not deny himself the pleasure to be a real father for his baby from the first days of his life.
When is the first contact established between the father and his baby, and why is it sometimes difficult to establish this contact?
The fact is that the contact between parents and baby is established in the first hours after birth. So those fathers who have been actively involved in childbirth, find a common language with their newborns much easier.
If for some reason this was impossible, relationships with the child should be established as soon as possible then. Within the first year of life baby needs not only mom but also dad to be close to him. Even at this age baby needs to feel that he is not an integral part of his mother but is an independent person, thus it is very important for him to have close contact with other person who differs from his mom.
During the of breastfeeding period, baby is changing beyond recognition. The older the baby, the more his tiny life needs his father. But the father’s participation in the life of his baby is necessary not only for the baby and mother, but for the father as well.
The baby sees and feels that he gets warmth and milk from his mom, and games are being played with his dad. It helps him to quickly and clearly understand that the world is not just limited to his mother, and it makes him more independent, inquisitive and active.
Moreover, the father can do lots of thing which the mother can’t do after childbirth. For example, it might just be physically difficult for the mother to play with the baby, carry him in arms for a long time, bathe him, and father’s help in this case is indispensable.
In addition, psychologists say that at this age the ability to share love between two people is being developed. Baby will need this ability in the future, when he will have his own baby, and will be able to give love to him and to his beloved one.
It is important to remember that the father’s role is not limited to making money for the family. The relationships with the baby should be built immediately but not when he will be able to remember the rules of playing football.
A good father can do anything what a mother can do, except breastfeeding of course. Baby acquires a valuable experience, calming down in the male and female arms, and feeling warmth and love of both mom and dad.
Within the first year of life baby understands or, rather, feels that different people express love for him in different ways, and this is normal and correct. It’s clear that the more people who surround baby and love him sincerely and actively care about him, the better for the baby.
It often happens that after the baby is born, father feels abandoned and unwanted in his family, while mom gives all her time and strength to the baby. In this case, father may express disaffection to his wife, and even aggression towards the child.
A man, like his wife, can feel a real postpartum depression, and he will look for help leaving home and staying more and more away from his family. And this can lead to bad relations between husband and wife, and a subsequent feeling of guilt, shifted on the child’s shoulders. Obviously, this scenario is unfavorable for all members of the family.
If husband and wife regard the baby and care for him as their common favorite business from the start, everything is completely different then.
Just do not wait until father’s feelings come – they may not come at all, or will come when the gulf between a husband and his wife with the baby becomes unbridgeable.
Father’s instincts, unlike mother’s ones, must be developed in a practical parenting and care about your baby. Very soon then your baby will become so close to you that you will laugh at ridiculous and absurd words of your friends that taking care of a baby is not a man’s business.