Society and relationship with your own father develop your idea about how it’s like to be a dad. Unfortunately society is prone to believe different false information including myths about fatherhood. So if you are already a new dad or planning to become one, we offer you to read the scientific studies to know the reality of such a wonderful stage of life as fatherhood.
All men dream of having sons
In the recent past, the birth of a son was a vital necessity. A king had to have a son and heir; an ordinary man needed a son to continue the family business and the family, and he was just one more worker – all this was necessary for the survival of species. The history tells us many sad stories of women who have not been able to give birth of a son for their husbands. And from generation to generation women tell the legend that only the birth of a son is able to rejoice a husband. Nowadays, there’s no such necessity in sons, so men can just enjoy their fatherhood. Opinion polls indicate that 45% of men don’t care about their baby’s gender. The attitude to the child is mainly determined by a dad’s desire to have him.
Young dad isn’t able to be gentle
And this is perhaps the most important misconception. Many men after the child’s birth can seriously revise their values. And a woman plays the main role when preparing her man for fatherhood. A man is actually very afraid that after the birth of the child he will lose all his wife’s love and care. And if a woman when pregnant and after the baby’s birth treats her man with the same tenderness, the man is then so much loving. He starts raising his child with a great love and responsibility.
A man is afraid of his newborn
This feeling is absolutely natural. This is a mom who is getting ready to meet the baby for 9 months long, she constantly feels his presence, and a dad is stressed when meeting the baby for the first time. At the same time both men’s and women’s fear of the newborn manifests itself mostly the same way. The couple is initially afraid to take the child on their arms, they get confused when the baby is crying. But you should take care of the baby together, and then you’ll get rid of your fears much easier. Over time, men are the first to understand the reason why the child is crying, what to feed him, and what vitamins he needs. And the men’s balanced approach to such issues is often more proper than that of women.
Men start experiencing fatherly love in course of time
Women often forget that most men can’t openly express their feelings. We still strongly believe that men’s manifestation of tenderness is a sign of weakness. So if a man is secretive it doesn’t mean that his fatherly love hasn’t “wake up” yet. After the baby’s birth, a man simply feels even more responsible for the family. So when being serious, focused on solving new problems, a new dad can’t so openly express his love and affection.
Women’s desire to have children is stronger than men’s one
A desire to become a father simply ripens much later, and there are several reasons for this. First, male fertility lasts much longer, so he has more time to have a baby than women do. And, secondly, a man attaches great importance to a financial side of the issue: whether his family has enough money, whether they have a house to live in.
Single fathers raise children worse
The Universities of Iowa and Wisconsin tried to understand together what family is optimal for a child to grow in. It turned out that the families without mothers or fathers have as much chance of success as the ones with both parents.
Divorce is a disaster for children
Data of the Universities of Nebraska and Pennsylvania show that children who grow in a single-parent family do not feel more disadvantaged than kids from conjugal families, provided that the other parent is actively involved in their upbringing. But such families have an advantage if parents are really happy in their new marriages. Life in a single-parent family can be much less stressful than in a conjugal one if parents quarrel all the time.
A good father spends much time with his children
Quantity does not mean quality. Indeed, children whose fathers constantly work, have less sense of well-being. But it’s not due to the fact that kids see their dads little time, but the one that dads’ thoughts are still about the job when they get home. And in this case a man should learn to “leave his work behind the door of his house”. You can definitely find the activities both you and your child will like, and then you will rest when communicating with the kid.
Children are a source of stress
Sometimes it may seem that parents can relax only after their children grow up and begin to live independently. Indeed, the first year of your child’s life is very difficult, you can’t sleep soundly through the night, you have to care of the child 24 hour round the clock. But in fact, the children make you calmer and more relaxed. Studies of the University of Illinois state that the more time fathers spend with their children, the calmer they get. Activities with children are able to bring a new meaning into a man’s life, to inspire him to reach new goals. Birth of children improves health, it’s a reason to give up smoking or drinking alcohol, and of course an extra incentive to slow down while driving.
Dear dads, what do you think about the topic? Share your thoughts and experience in fatherhood with other parents!