Relationship between father and son is a complex topic that deserves a lot of attention. Boy’s father is a source of the feeling of security and strength, the first best friend in his life. At the same time, you as a father must understand what your new role implies. Your love for your son will grow depending on your ability to establish a strong close contact with him and to communicate. After all, it’s a known fact that fathers who do their best to develop a strong emotional bond with their sons from the first days of their life have a strong hold over their lives in the future.
What can you give your son?
Protection. From the day they are born to teen years, boys need their fathers to feel secure and protected from everything that may pose a threat.
Sex-role identification and setting the future “relationships template”. A father significantly affects his son’s sex-role identification. Even for younger kids, a father is a role model of what a man should look and act like; for boys a father is an example to follow. While growing, your son sees the way you treat his mother and the way you communicate with her and his own vision of relationships with women will be based on what he sees.
Social integration. Considerate fathers encourage their sons’ social activity by paving their way to the human society. You are the source of knowledge about the world, social relationships, and technical skills. You are the one who can make your child set socially useful goals and ideals, and you are the one who can give your son some vocational guidance.
Driving force. Sons tend to take their fathers’ affection as a reward for achievements and good behavior.
Your role in your son’s life
Needless to say, you should always be there for your son regardless of your boy’s age, but you should know how to build your father-son relationships correctly at different stages of your child’s life.
0 to 5 years old: to see and to hear. The most important thing for a baby is to see and to feel his parents around. According to studies, babies whose fathers take an active part in their lives and spend much time with them in their lives and spend much time with them tend to cry less, they are not as shy of strangers and are more calm and composed in general. So at this point your role is a great deal similar to your wife’s: take your son into your arms as often as possible, caress him and talk to him. Good spirits while communicating to your baby are a must!
5 to 9 years old: less criticism! Now you can play lots of active sports games with your boy. Psychologists say that fathers tend to give their kids more freedom during play activity and allow them to experiment while interacting with their environment.
Another important responsibility that you can assume is helping your son in his studies. Help your kid to do his homework, explain some things to him that he finds hard to understand, give your advice — this is one of the ways to develop a very strong bond with your child, and gain his respect and trust.
9 to 15 years old: let’s be friends! This is the stage in your son’s life when your role becomes bigger than ever before. It’s now that you have a chance to become an expert on solving all the issues your son may have in his social or school life. It’s you who can tell your son about all the changes that take place in his body. Sometimes teenage boys start seeing their fathers as rivals and try to defy their authority. The best decision you can make is to stick to a policy of friendly neutrality and try to listen to your son and talk all the issues over with him.
10 tips for great dads
1. Don’t tell your son he has to be a real man; rather give him an opportunity to see the way you do it. Your son will remember your actions and your model of behavior better than any words.
2. Don’t put a focus on competition. However banal it may sound, those fathers who teach their sons that the skill and the joy they get from participation in various events are much more important than winning, give their children so much more.
3. Be the source of knowledge. Answer all the questions your son asks you, even if he asks about some things you may think elementary. Curt answers and offers to read a book or ask his mother won’t do: talk to your son, explain things to him. This will affirm your authority.
4. Teach your son that compassion and ability to sympathize, as well as respect for himself and for the others are the features of a real man. Let him look down at other people in once case only: if he helps them to get up.
5. Teach your boy the principles of work ethics, honesty and acceptance of responsibility even when it’s not an easy thing to do.
6. Discipline is a must when raising a son. But it has to be reasonable and well grounded — and then your hard look will tell your son much more than any amount of shouting and reprimanding.
7. Let both you and your wife work as a team. No matter what your relationship is like, always demand that your son respects his mother. The way the treats his mother is the way he will treat his partner in the future.
8. Never shatter your son’s confidence in you: he must be sure that you never lie to him and never will.
9. Treat your son’s moving into adulthood calmly. Talk to him not just as a father to a son but as one adult person to another. Tell him about the way you were growing up, share your feelings and emotions and always try to listen to your child.
10. And the last but not the least: love your son! Don’t hesitate to hug and kiss him or give him your words of affection, even if your son is not a toddler anymore. This will never make either you or your son less manly.
As a father, you must remember that as your son gets older, the influence of his mother’s care will weaken. This means that if you establish a strong emotional bond with your son from his early age, your authority will help him get through the turbulent teen years much easier. This, in its turn, means that your relationship will always be full of trust and respect for many years in the future.