The aim of today’s article is to show connection between child social development and family, as well as how family influences the formation of child’s moral values.
Every family is some kind of parenting institute, social and cultural environment where a child develops. Everybody knows that the character of any child begins to develop due to the direct influence of the family. A child’s behavior in society depends on the way parents raise him and what kind of example they show him.
Some of us perfectly interact with society, while others feel convenient to do everything on their own and to be alone. Why different people reach different levels of development? We all have two arms, two legs, but nevertheless some of us manage corporations, and others never reach such heights. The answer to this question roots in our childhood and the way our families influenced us.
Some children come into the world as social creatures – they often smile to familiar and are in their element in society while other children stay isolated from people. Could a simple genetics affect this distinction? Development of a child begins long before his birth, and every newborn baby is unique. Genetic inheritance, of course, is responsible for temperament and sociability of small children, but parents greatly influence their social growth and development.
Shy mom, shy children?
It is unknown whether “shyness genes” are being transferred, but personal traits of parents have a great impact on the social development of their children. Shy parents, who feel like fish out of water in society, don’t teach their children to communicate with people, while open parents constantly subject their children to communicate with others. Lack of social impact can affect the level of children’s comfort and ease of communication, and makes children of shy parents more prone to isolation.
Influence of parenting styles on child’s character
Here is a classification of parenting styles developed on the basis of two parameters ratio: parental control and warmth.
Authoritative style involves a high level of control when the parents accept and encourage the growing autonomy of their children (parents are open for communication, they allow changes in their requirements). The result is that children are socially adapted, self-confident, are able to self-control, have high self-esteem.
Authoritarian style is characterized by a high control, when parents require strict implementation of their demands; the relationships are cold, indifferent. Children of such families are closed, fearful and sullen, irritable and unpretentious. The majority of girls are passive and dependent, boys are uncontrollable and aggressive.
Liberal style involves a low level of control and warm relations. Parents control child’s behavior weakly or do not it at all. Parents are open for communication with children, the main direction of communication is from the child to the parents, children have an excess of freedom, parents do not set any restrictions. As a result children are prone to disobedience and aggressiveness, behave inadequately and impulsively, are not self-rigorous. In some cases they become active, decisive and creative people.
Indifferent style involves a low level of control and cold relationships. Parents do not set any restrictions for children, are indifferent to them and closed for communication. Being burdened with their own problems, they have lack of strength to raise children. If apathy is combined with hostility, the child expresses destructive impulses and is prone to deviant behavior.
The most common forms of parent-child relationships in families
Competition involves the tendency of individual members of family to have a dominant position.
False cooperation means that conflicts between family members are “hidden” from others. A family as if demonstrates an example of good and right relationships.
Isolation – it is a clear form of estrangement of one of the family members in child parenting. Children in such families are inevitably involved in the interpersonal conflicts of adults, they are used as a means of manipulation.
Three types of improper upbringing
• Rejection. Parents demonstrate obvious or hidden rejection of their child. For example, if the child was originally unwelcome or if parents wanted a girl but a boy was born. The child does not initially meet their expectations. It happens that the child is as if desirable, he is cared of attentively, but he has no soulful contact with his parents. Typically, children in such families become either aggressive or downtrodden, withdrawn, shy, fearful, resentful. Rejection creates a sense of protest in a child. There are such traits as instability and negativism particularly regarding adults are being developed in a child.
• Hyper socialization. Parents are excessively concern and anxious about the future child’s status, success and failure. Parents tend to pedantically comply with all recommendations for “ideal” upbringing. Children in such families are extremely disciplined and dutiful. They have to constantly suppress their emotions and desires. The result of such education is a vigorous outcry and aggressive behavior of a child.
• Egocentricity. In most cases there is the only child in a family or a long-awaited one. This child is imposed an idea of himself as an extremely valuable person. He becomes an idol and the “meaning of life” for parents. Interests of others are often ignored. As a result, a child does not know how to understand and consider the interests of other people; he cannot stand any restrictions, and aggressively responds to any obstacles. Such a child is disinhibited, unstable and capricious.
Each family has its own internal dynamics. Large families, who tend to socialization on a regular basis, provide their children with not only many opportunities to practice their social skills, but they also have a great support system that can greatly contribute to the increase of children’s self-esteem. Confidence is an important factor for healthy socialization, and when members of family encourage and are happy for each other, they provide a wonderful foundation for expanded social development.
Many theories exist about the birth order influence on social skills and a personality in general. Interactions between siblings are often our first important social lessons. We learn to win, to lose, to love, and even to fight for justice while constantly communicating with our brothers and sisters. Accordingly, their place in the family can influence them, not only in childhood but in adulthood as well. Older brothers and sisters can be imperious and self-confident, because they had to “take a responsibility” as children. Middle children are socially pleasant and tend to seek quiet and closely-knit relationships, while the youngest children in the family may have a thirst for attention. Although adults can certainly choose the way they want to behave and interact socially, but those first relationships that have been formed with their brothers and sisters, can affect them throughout their life.