Birth of a Second Child: How to Prepare the Firstborn

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    Second Child

    You are a happy mother of the best fidget and your happiness will double soon: you’re expecting a second child. How to prepare your firstborn for the birth of his brother or sister? After all he should feel this happiness too.

    An ideal age difference between children in a family is 3 or 4 years. In this case the senior child is rather independent, but at the same time the children will be interested in playing games together. But if the brother (or the sister) was born when the first-born is 2 years old or less, it is great too, though it is very troublesome.

    Remember some advice that will help the senior child have the warmest feelings for the baby

    It is necessary to begin conversation with your child in advance. Gradually tell him how small he was quite recently. Show his first photos. Tell that he will have a little brother or a sister soon – the same wonderful kid as he is. Explain that they will play together but later when his brother or sister grows up.

    Having returned home from the maternity hospital, first of all take the senior child in your hands, embrace him and tell how much you missed him. In advance prepare a gift for your little one from the newborn. During the first day after absence try to find more time for the senior child who waited for you all these days.

    Of course, guests will come to congratulate you. Ask them to bring gifts not only for the newborn, but also for the senior child. Otherwise he may feel deprived. Further, if you buy clothes or other things for the younger child, buy something for the senior kid as well (this can be some knickknack).

    When there are two small children in your family, it is difficult to find enough time at once for both of them. But you have to be able to find individual time for your senior child first of all. He must feel that you belong to him entirely these minutes. Introduce your senior assistant to care of the younfer child (but he must be interested in this help), praise him often. Think out games you could play all in one (for example, the baby flies on your hands like “a plane”, and the elder brother or sister builds towers and the baby flies between them).

    Time you spend with the senior child must be special for him. Create certain rituals and always follow them, for example, reading bedtime tales or playing games while bathing. Try not to let anything distract you during these moments.

    In general, the senior child’s way of life must not be changed after the baby’s birth. If you plan to move him to another room, to stop breastfeeding him, or to change his lifestyle drastically, make it in advance, at least 2 months before the birth of the baby. Otherwise the little one will be shocked greatly.

    Anyway, your firstborn will feel that you pay attention not to him only. Take him in your hands often, embrace him at every opportunity. Bodily contact will instill him with the confidence that you love him as strongly as before.

    If the senior child wants to stay with the brother or the sister, don’t forbid that. Teach him to carefully contact with the baby. But don’t leave children alone within the first months.

    The second child is a double happiness, but efforts double too. If it seems to you that you extremely lack time don’t bring the senior child to a grandmother, to a nurse, or somewhere else. He will regard this as a treachery. Better postpone household chore and spend some time with the firstborn. And when your senior child gets used to the baby, you should pay the same amount of attention to both children, so that the younger one doesn’t feel that you love his brother or sister stronger.

    Remember that there aren’t absolutely identical children even in one family. Never compare children with each other. Each of them is a unique person and develops at his own pace.

    Do you have more than one child? Did you do anything to prepare your firstborn for the second child’s birth? Tell us your stories!

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