Young mothers like to read books about newborn baby care, tips on how to grow an obedient child without punishments, moreover, many such books recommend not to come to the baby immediately when he starts crying – it’s better to wait for 5-10 minutes. Is such an approach correct? Should you comply with the diet while breastfeeding?
I’ve stumbled on the experience of a mom of 9 children, and I want to share it with you.
Children, even in the same family of the same parents, are so different that it’s impossible to develop the general guidance on feeding and parenting.
One child eats a lot in one go and then sleeps for a long time; the other one eats less from the birth, he eats small portions and quickly gets hungry again. Yes, by the way, mothers are different as well. One mother has lots of milk whose breast just streams with milk, and the other one has very little amount of milk. But that’s no reason to give up breastfeeding. You just need to choose the correct schedule of feeding.
Moreover, breastfeeding is not only nourishment for a newborn, but also so much needed emotional contact with his mother. And in this case there are independent kids who can entertain on their own, and those who always need the support of their mother, her constant presence. And it has nothing to do with pampered children. He was closely connected with his mother for nine months, he constantly felt and heard her heartbeat and breathing, voice, and her every move. And suddenly he has 15 minutes of nursing, and then there is inexplicable emptiness without usual sensations and sounds around him till the next moments of happiness.
Of course, the baby needs to grow and develop from the complete dependence at birth to full independence to a certain age. But there should not be a sharp leap immediately after the birth. Some nations, including Japan, carry their babies in hands until they start walking. This, by the way, it is useful for the mom as well to feel herself being a mother and to learn her child more closely.
And anyway, you don’t have to worry because of the constant thoughts whether you do everything right or wrong. Who has said that you should do anything this or that way? This is your baby, and only you know what is better for him. Just be calm and confident. And surrounding still people should help you. Tips of the experienced grandmother, or competent physician, or even competent authors of the articles in journals – all this is very good and necessary, but you decide how to feed, how long and where on your own. And you should learn to enjoy communicating with your baby. And not for selfish reasons. Your child needs it primarily.
Babies are very sensitive to the emotional state of the mother. Happy and pleased mother will wrap her baby with calmness and confidence, security and love. And this is the most important thing. Both the mother and the child (and actually the father as well), should feel good together. Then that means that everything is correct. When mother and baby are inseparably connected, mother just feels what her child needs.
By the way, babies who are understood are less capricious, because they get help in time. What’s the use to develop patience in the baby and not to come to him immediately after he started crying, if his diaper is dirty, and there’s rash on his butt; or his stomach is twisted from hunger? He just will not understand the logic here. He will only suffer. But when dry and well-fed, he will lie with pleasure and not shouting. And if the mother will still have to change his diaper and feed him, why not to do it immediately then and to avoid unpleasant emotions for both her and the baby? Mother doesn’t need to struggle with the maternal instinct, forcing herself not to respond to the child’s crying; it contradicts the nature of women.
As for the schedule. It is, of course, necessary. But it depends on what is meant by that. Schedule means for some mothers means not performance of actions strictly at certain time , but the specific sequence of actions. For example, when the baby wakes up, he is undressed, washed, massaged, and fed then. So the child feels calmer, he knows what to expect next. And he endures with patience such unpleasant procedures as washing the face and blowing the nose, because he knows that this will be followed by feeding. It does not matter, whether he woke up an hour earlier or later – it will be compensated within the next period of sleep.
The mother recalls that, to the amazement of her friends, her bouncing and laughing one year-old son closed his eyes and fell asleep after washing, making the bed, putting the pajamas on, having been put on a side and covered with the blanket. Because she laid him to sleep right in that order every day, although at a bit different time.
In short, you can read tips on your baby care, but it’s up to you how to do it, do not comply strictly with their guidance, because there are no similar children on the Earth. You should know a lot, and apply this knowledge according to your own conditions and circumstances. Love your baby, try to understand and make him happy.